The six of us have flown across the country into an Omicron hot-spot. And the one with severe travel anxiety and constant homesickness? No, he hasn’t grown out of it. The older teens are quick to give us parenting advice, and I shoot it back, uselessly informing them it’s not welcome.
On the way here I began writing my personal Forward-Facing vision for this trip. The key word being personal, as in, who I intend to be, not what I intend others to be.
- I put more energy into my self-regulation and less energy into stopping bickering.
- I put less energy into glares that shoot my way
- I pay attention to things that give me joy.
It’s been a while since I’ve done this. Too long. Even after I write it I fail and fail. but I see the the hope emerging. I am coming back to my intentions quicker than usual, and I know it’s because I’ve written it down. I’m settling into a rhythm.
I move to noticing, to gratitude, to body-full-ness…I know I have the option to create my experience. I do it first by writing my intention, and then writing what I chose to notice, where I put my energy.
The noticing brain invites me to my body, to the present, and interrupts my threat response.
- I notice the teens changing their language about our AirBnB from cramped to cozy
- I notice the boys awe and wonder while exploring the novel flora and fauna
- I notice teens unpacking groceries and cooking and washing dishes without being asked
- I notice their politeness and poise, even as non-Southerners
- I notice the weather. As desert rats, we were looking forward to the crisp cold, but the unseasonal temperate weather allows us to spread out
- I notice joy in children voluntarily raking leaves
The scared one now has an anxiety-induced migraine. The intrusions are coming. Part of me is tired and wants to withdraw, and another part wants to soothe him. I notice those parts beginning to battle, as their needs feel incongruent. But as I notice, the parts integrate. Needs are soothed. Back to the present.
To be continued…
In 2010 she and her husband chose to be foster parents and adopted a sibling group of three from foster care. Eight years later, she believes her best education has come from parenting five children and her marriage of almost 18 years.
Motivated by her own family’s experience with compassion fatigue, Jenny founded Rezilia to bring Dr. Eric Gentry’s research on resilience to lay-people.
Jenny is currently the COO of the Forward-Facing® Institute creating resources to equip a new generation of leaders with resilience.
In her free time you can find Jenny spending time with her family, making kombucha, or fighting with the guys at her local Muay Thai gym.
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